A Letter to the Other Woman

So we’ve established that I’ve been cheated on. There is, however, one thing that I’ve really held back from talking about. That thing is the Other Woman.

To the other woman: I send my condolences

I’ll be honest, I’m not really a fan of hers. I don’t think anybody really would be. And I’ll be honest, I don’t really have problems with the girls dating any of my other exes, except this one. Now, there’s a difference between a girl who doesn’t know a boy has a girlfriend, and a girl who knows damn well he has a girlfriend. You can probably guess which was the case in my situation….

Ding Ding Ding!!! Correct, she knew all about me.

***Disclaimer that I’ve never spoken to her personally so she has never confirmed this, however, I have good reason to believe she knew about me. Also, as with my last post, please do not look for anyone I talk about here or harass them in any way. This is a letter of reflection for me.

Now, before anyone comes at me saying that she may not have known about me, let me tell you why I would assume that she did. She liked photos of him and I, she had mutual friends of mine who knew him and I for our entire relationship, she liked tweets about me from him when we were in a fight, etc. So, my assumption is that she knew about me, she just didn’t care.

Don’t. Be. That. Girl.

Don’t be the girl:

• who rationalizes for ANY REASON that it’s OK to help break another woman’s heart
• who assumes everything a guy says about his girlfriend when she’s not around is true
• who convinces yourself that there’s something really wrong with the girl that he is still choosing to stay with while cheating (is she really that bad if he’s still around?)
• who assumes that he hasn’t done/won’t do the same thing to you
• who thinks that you’ll be “different” or “better” than his current girlfriend (that sounds like you need some validation, and probably therapy)
• who helped ruin a girl’s ability to love and be loved in a healthy way

I personally still deal with the emotional aftermath of that event. Those who have dated me since have also had to deal with the aftermath. WE AS WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE OUT HERE HELPING MEN TO HURT OTHER WOMEN. WE AS WOMEN SHOULD TREAT EACH OTHER WITH THE SAME RESPECT WE WOULD WANT FROM EACH OTHER WHEN WE’RE NOT AROUND. We can shit on guys who cheat all we want, but I’m going to shit harder on the girls who cheat with a guy that they know has a girlfriend. In my humble opinion, that’s probably the lowest thing you could do to another female. You don’t have to know a girl personally to treat her with respect. We, as women, have to stop making it “us” vs. “them.” Cheer each other on. Help each other grow. Be genuinely happy for other women, even if you want what they have. I would love to see a World where women are unified, because it’s going to be a team effort to protect our hearts these days.

Let’s be a Team!

To Men:

Stop psychologically damaging women. Women are not rehabilitation centers for broken men. Read that again. If you are not in an emotionally mature enough place to be in a relationship, then don’t choose to be in one. It’s ironic how the same men who talk about how protective they’ll be of their daughters can turn around and be the same men who go out and hurt another man’s daughter.

Final Thoughts: